Thursday, November 25, 2010

Parent Job Description


This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have applied!!!
Position:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
  

Job Description:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required including trips to the hospital, emergency room, walk in clinics, primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

PTA meetings, school report card days, open house things of that nature.
Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required. 
Responsibilities:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, baking, constant cleaning and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
Possibility for Advancement & Promotion:
  None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.  
Previous Experience:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.  
Wages and Compensation:  
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.  
Benefits:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
 
** AND A FOOTNOTE**  
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT
- EVER!!!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

May The Good Lord Bless And Keep You

Read

May The Good Lord Bless And Keep You Lyrics

here.


This was one of my dad's favorite songs. I loved to listen to it as a child and when I hear it now it brings back such memories.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Map

 A little girl wanted to know what the United States looked like. Her Father tore a map of the United States out of his magazine and cut it into small pieces.
  
He gave them to her and said, 'Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will
show you our whole country today..'


 After some minutes, she returned and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly.
  
'Oh,' she said, 'on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus .
  
When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.'





Sooo........ when we get Jesus back where 
                   He Belongs--
         our country will come together.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Why is it so hard to say it

Gone are the days of families with happy homes and everyone wanting to talk about their relatives. Now almost every home has been broken up or some has committed suicide, or someone is in prison, or someone isn't talking to someone over something stupid. Why don't people realize life is too short to hold grudges and children grow up way to fast and those moments are gone, never to be had again. Mothers, fathers, even grandparents are taken from us way to soon and if you don't tell them you love them you are left with that aching feeling of wondering ** did they really know how much I loved them***??
SO tell them NOW when you can. Why don't people just do that. Why is it so hard to tell someone *I love you*, instead of just thinking they know it. Those words could make a persons day. Those words could stop a person from doing something very harmful to themselves because they thought no one cared.
God showed you he loved you by sending you JESUS-------------- so why is it so hard for you to tell someone you *LOVE* them???????

And it doesn't just have to be family that you say *I love you * to. What about that stranger at the store that looks like they need a pick me up, or the waitress that looks frazzled. I'm sure that would really make their day to know someone cares. 

                                    I care 

                                     and      

                       I LOVE YOU  !!!!!