WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

 

Why did God make mothers?

1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2..  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring..

3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1.  We're related.

2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1.  His last name.

2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?

3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot.

2..  She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball..

2.  Mom..  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you go to to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1.  Mothers don't do spare time.

2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long...

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.

2.  I'd make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
  WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING  --  SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AND AUNTS....and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!

MOM'S EMPTY CHAIR

A woman's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her mother.
When the minister arrived,he found the woman lying in bed with her head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside her bed. The minister assumed that the woman had been informed of his visit. I guess you were expecting me he said. 'No who are you?' said the mother. The minister told her his name and then remarked I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up. Oh yeah the chair said the bedridden woman. Would you mind closing the door? Puzzled the minister shut the door. I have never told anyone this not even my daughter said the woman. But all of my life I have never known how to pray.
At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer,but it went right over my head. I abandoned any attempt at prayer the old woman continued until one day four yrs ago my best friend said to me Prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest. Sit down in a chair place an empty chair in front of you and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised I will be with you always. Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now. So I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hrs every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm.
The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old woman to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with her anointed her with oil and returned to the church. Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her mama had died that afternoon.
Did she die in peace? he asked. Yes when I left the house about two o'clock she called me over to her bedside told me she loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hr later I
found her. But there was something strange about her death. Apparently just before Mom died she leaned over and rested her head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that? 

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said I wish we could all go like that.